Transformation: Again??

Searching. Struggling. Frustrated. Overwhelmed. Anyone else feel like they must be getting their masters in chaos and confusion? I couldn’t feel more off track or out of touch with what I am truly meant to be doing. Well, I could. If I were homeless and alone. But still! And I know most people understand why my house looks this way.  I could pull the I-have-5-kids card and most think I’m doing pretty well “under-the-circumstances.”  But I’m not under my circumstances.  This is my life!  I was called to it.  And consistently feeling like I’m not accessing my full potential is irritating. I’ve been a broken record of whining about tendencies and self-sabatoge for nearly 13 years now. And I’m tired of it. STILL!

But I don’t have to wait here to see if I’m still suffering and grouchy about being in the same shoes for the next 10 plus years, do I? No. I can choose something else.
(At this point, I’d almost choose ANY thing else.)
But it isn’t as easy as just choosing something different and being new over night.

Or is it?

I want to tackle this and “cocoon up” so I can look forward to having the butterfly part of my life that much sooner.

crysolis to butterflyIt’s time. I seriously refuse to waste another year or month spinning wheels mucking‘ around in this much self confusion and frustration.  I am just sure I could put my energy into something way more worth while.

Lord help me, I’m going to MOVE FORWARD.  A BIG step.  Maybe it will be 5 baby steps put together.  But it will be bigger.  noticable.  Good.  Good changes.  Better choices for me.

And just so I don’t get anyone all sidetracked saying how I HAVE been changing over the years and how I’ve HAVE grown so much. I agree I’ve changed and grown.  Some.  But I am still sitting in a messy house with a cloudy brain feeling overwhelmed by simple day-to-day tasks. So, enough head-work. This isn’t how I want to live. This is a new day and I want to grab hold like I’ve just been diagnosed with something. Something life changing. NO– perspective changing. I want to honor people whose lives were cut short by actually LIVING mine. In the best way possible.

And my small choices everyday are NOT adding up to that. Yet.

Watch if you like. Join me if you like. But I am going on the transformation ride of my life time. And I’m not giving up until I can only say these feelings of falling short and missing the mark are memories more than daily companions.

Here is my plan so far:
1) List my priorities in life. Get them all down and put them in order of importance.
2) Document what I do in a typical day.
3) Take a good, real look at how often throughout the day I am putting time into something other than my top priorities.
4) Reorganize my daily routines to best redirect my time toward that which has me focused on my priorities instead of distracting me from them.



Set . . .


Really.  Let’s do this.  Anyone with me?


2011 Resolutions: How’s that going now?

In July this year, I posted some pretty amazing things I wanted to do before ringing in the new year (read that article here).  With just 2 months left in the year, I thought it would be good to revisit this list to see how that is going for me now . . .

So, here’s the list:
*Paint the main level of our house (has NEVER been painted by us though we celebrate 12 years in this house next month)
Although I DID paint the girls room, I haven’t painted the main level.  I keep arguing with myself about the color and the best time to disrupt everything to get that done.  But we HAVE a paint voucher and it wouldn’t be a cost to us at all.  So it would be fabulous to get that done over Thanksgiving Break.  (Plug that into the calendar, Kaycee.)

*Make working out daily a habit,
*Have more lean muscle than I do FAT &
*Carve out regular time for my business so it can grow
I was doing great with this one — as usual — during the summer time.  But as soon as the school year started up, my workout plans unravelled.  So a few weeks ago, I took the example a few of my friends were leading with and I joined a local gym. The beauty of this step is that I’ve tied the business into my workout time at the gym.  The gym has a nursery, so when I finish my workout, before I pick up Baby and Meli May, I sit in the lounge in the locker room and make some business calls.  It has been a good thing and I have had more time to make specific business plans for action.  Right away, getting to workout more has lifted my mood. And the longer I go making regular business calls, the more results I should see there too.

*Make writing every week a habit
I am working on this one.  I worked on my blog for girls (Letters 2 Girls) this week, and I’m posting here . . . so it is coming along.  More than anything, I’ve started reading again.  And I believe any good writer starts by being an avid reader.  

*Make blessing my house something I do on auto-pilot
I have to admit that I am struggling with this one.  I have tried the Fly Lady systems before.  But I’m lacking in discipline.  She has a great concept.  Take ONE thing and do it everyday to make enough of a difference that you start to feel motivated to do more and more.  She highly recommends cleaning in 15 minute spurts.  She also talks a bunch about loving ourselves and about thinking of house work and daily chores as blessing our families through blessing their home.  I love all of this.  But when it comes to regularly following her daily steps to building great habits, I seem to fall short over and over.  I know that I could use work on being disciplined.  And I want to make the changes.  But why do I keep falling short and giving up?  Something to ponder.  I did my best when I had a few cleaning partners.  Several years ago, I had a handful of online Fly Lady friends who were all working together to clean and build great daily habits.  It didn’t take me long to start spending more time visiting and chatting with these moms though.  So it became a huge time-suck.  If I could take what I learned from that time and apply it all, I’d be SET!

*Make reading the bible a morning ritual
Here is another area I’m struggling with.  I see the need for me to wake up earlier to help give myself regular time to do this, but day after day I don’t get up early for this.  The baby is usually in our bed and stirring on and off during the 6 o’clock hour.  So I guess discourages me.  In fact, I blame the baby sleeping in our bed for about 5 hours a night on me being too tired to jump out of bed at 5:30 or 6:00 in the morning.  But if I actually take a closer look, the truth is I’m NOT heading to bed as early as I could.  If I want to start my day just 30 minutes earlier, I could certainly put myself in my bed earlier to help encourage this possibility.  I will take a good hard look at starting there.  I’ll start TONIGHT!  That should make my hubby (Music Man) happy!  He has tried hard to encourage me to get to bed earlier lately.

*Grow and cultivate systems for our personal finances
Oh sigh. Although we did get so far as to borrow an amazing Christian Financial Workshop in a box . . . we have hardly cracked it open.  I wish I knew how to get us to take the time out for it.   Especially since it seems to have great potential for truly transforming our financial habits.  I will start by committing to get it out this weekend and spent at least 1 hour with my Music Man looking to set some of the system into action and get the time to go through the course on our calendar.

Whew!  If you hung around to read through all of this, I truly think you are amazing and kind.  I feel like I am finally taking more time out to not only set goals, but to carry them out.  And a huge part of accomplishing this is revisiting the goals I set to see how things are going.  So thank you for helping me with the one that is my writing goal.  This is hardly the book I have had in my head for most of a decade, but at least I am writing and at least it’s a start!


It’s not rocket science

Day 47 in my 100 day transformation.

Things are certainly coming along. I’m gaining ground in all of the areas I set out to improve 47 days ago when the year began. Here’s an update …

Prayer life: My goal is to live life inside of God’s will and purpose for me. In order to line up with God’s will, I am working to strengthen my prayer life. I feel this should be a great focus for my last 50 days. I want to build more quiet times of listening to God into my every day. Like brushing my teeth, I don’t want to start or end my day without doing it. Having 5 children makes this a challenge. But it is possible. I have been praying at the start of my day. And I’m reading the Gospel verses of the day most mornings now. It is the end of my day that needs that quiet listening the most, I think. And the morning could be stretched to a longer amount of quiet with Him.

Health: I have been working out faithfully 6 out of 7 days per week now since 2011 began. I am so happy to be engraining this habit. It has been easier to fit the workouts in since I began waking earlier to workout first thing. Getting a workout in before I usually would have been awake for the day has really been transforming. It feels good, and Mike and the kids have been so very supportive! It has been impowering and humbling, all at once. I will continue to work on lengthening the workouts to eventually be consistently getting in a full hour now that I’ve built the habit of getting up for 20 to 40 minute workouts.

House blessing & organization: I’m sure you’ve heard that to get things done you’ve got to raise some dust. Well, in order to kick up some dust around here, I first needed to raise some motivation, encouragement, and support. So, slowly I have done that. Finding some online cleaning buddies I could work with a few times a day makes cleaning more fun and less isolating. And racing to empty the dishwasher or rescue a room adds an element of urgency that gets the task done in 1/2 the time. Now I’d like to have some regular morning, afternoon, and evening routines in place by the end of this 100 days. So that is where my focus will turn for the next several weeks. Perhaps 12 days or so per routine to really get them down and fine tune their efficiency.

Last, I have committed to transforming my business. My goal is to be putting 10 hours a week to my business. Where as up till now, I have put in a few hours a week at my busiest. I have really just made it a side hobby, till now. A secondary supplement to my life as a mom. But I want more for my business and I want more out of it too. So I’m working to build some business building activities into my daily life. The key seems to be taking time during the evenings, when I would normally sit and watch TV to plan my business calls for the next day. Not easy when I finally feel like the kids aren’t demanding of me or calling on me for things when the house is finally quiet and it is my choice how to spend my minutes. But since those kiddos are my 5 biggest why’s for even wanting to have my own business, I think it is certain to be fulfilling & so rewarding when this business is helping to give us more time together and not only the chance to keep me home and here for them, but also helping to afford their college studies and the possibility of their Dad working from home too eventually.

So, the transformation is under way and the first 100 days are almost 1/2 way to completion. Let the game of change continue, and the true fullness of life open up wide.

My 100 Day Transformation

Day 21

At the first of the year, I set out to make some lasting changes. My plan was to write about the journey from the start, but the first step bumped the journal part of the process down on the priority list. That’s because my first step was to list the things I want to add into my life as good habits, and then put them in order of importance.

Well, now that I’m 21 days in, I’m happy to get a chance to get some things down. I have been focusing on adding positive things and one area is fitness. So I set out to workout more regularly. Since squeezing the workouts in later in the day hadn’t been working since we started back to a school schedule in the fall, I decided it was time to see if I could make morning work outs work for me. Now I’m so excited! I went from years of dreading the idea of ever possibly needing to wake earlier to just to work out to looking forward to my morning workouts! Can you believe that? All theseyears of thinking I would hate it, and within 3 weeks I’m loving it. For the last 3 weeks I have woken up at least 30 minutes earlier 6 out of 7 days a week. And the 3 days off we on purpose so I have those muscle recovery days. I’ve lost 5 lbs in the process – even though I know I’ve gained back muscle.

More soon. Ahhhh, sweet transformation!